


Room to Breathe

by shedreams0flove



Category: Norman Reedus - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Norman Reedus - Freeform, air
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 07:02:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14995406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shedreams0flove/pseuds/shedreams0flove
Summary: In a world where the air is no longer viable for life, the only humans left alive lie buried below the surface. After months of political strife and countless missiles containing deadly chemical warfare, the Earth has nearly been destroyed, and almost all of it's population with it. But not everyone is gone. Underground facilities house the world's upper echelon, it's power players and leaders of academia, keeping them in a state of sedated limbo until the atmosphere can sustain life once again.After yet another six month sleep rotation, Alex Whitley is woken for the same maintenance work she'd done for the last seven. But after some strange events and an unexpected accident, she is forced to search for others in an attempt to not only save her life, but the handful of others she's now responsible for.





	Room to Breathe

"WHITLEY."

The voice was muffled at first as her eyes fluttered open, struggling to adjust to the light.

"WHITLEY. WAKE THE HELL UP." 

Only a second passed as everything came into sharp focus, a sudden gust of cold air rushed into her lungs and shook her fully awake.

"Open it!" Alex Whitley said, trying to yell and failing miserably as she pulled the IV needle from the inside of her arm. 

"You sure you're ready?" Angela Mason taunted, leaning over and smiling at her through the old, clouded glass before quickly disappearing from sight.

"Damn it Andrea, just open it!" She said, this time more successful in airing her irritation.

With a push of a button, the lid that covered her ascended open and she uneasily sat up, rubbing absently at her eye as she looked over at the tall blonde standing in front of the control desk. 

"I swear to god woman, I will strangle you at some point." Alex warned, only half joking as she breathed uneasily, trying to adjust to the air burning in her lungs.

"Won't feel any different than living in this shit hole."

"This time I might be serious about it." 

"You're in rare form. Jesus. Chill out." 

Alex shook her head and pulled herself from the soft padded mattress of her vessel and stepped clumsily away, reaching for her locker and the bottle of water she'd left there 6 months ago. She took a deep, painful breath as her lungs struggled to get used to being up and around and took a long drink, coughing hard enough she was sure she'd lose part of a lung after she tossed it toward a trashcan.

"I'm so sick of doing this." Alex mumbled under her breath, picking up the empty bottle after she'd missed the can. 

"The last one's checked in, too."

"What?"

"The last two guys are checked in in the system. Did you not see them at orientation? The one with the hair and the hot black one? Looks like they should be just about done... At least according to the time stamp on here." 

"I started orientation after you did, I don't know who you're talking about... besides, it's not like we'll see them ever again." 

"You don't know that." 

Alex busied herself with pulling on the same old pair of coveralls, letting the top hang loosely from her hips as she buttoned it and tying the sleeves around herself, already feeling her claustrophobia getting the better of her. "Mind checking on them and running diagnostics?" She asked out loud, pointing her thumb toward the sleeping chamber filled with unconscious diplomats and doctors before clipping her work belt around her hips.

"You ask that every time."

"Because you can't figure out air filters to save your fucking life."

"You know, I could figure it out if you'd actually let me try it more than once."

"Would you just do it, please? I'll do everything else and you can sit on your pretty little ass, just like last time."

Andrea scoffed at her and shook her head, giving up on the subject all together and turning toward the bathroom. "Why couldn't they have paired me with a dude. At least I could use him a little bit and make the annoyance worth my while."

"Bite me." Alex laughed, rolling her eyes and gathering what seemed like the same stack of air filters she'd been picking up every single cycle. 

"You think the other ones that do this ar- holy shit." Andrea started before the print-off from one of the printers started.

"What?"

"Do you see this?" Andrea asked, stopping in her tracks and grabbing the yards long carbon paper trailing from the seismograph. 

"What about it?"

"You know what this is?"

"Of course I know what it is, stupid. What I meant was, what's your point in showing it to me?"

"Look at it." Andrea said, looking carefully at the jagged lines cutting their way across the plain white paper. "Pretty good sized earthquake. You think there could be a leak in the foundation anywhere?"

"Trust me, we'd know if there were a leak."

"Are you sure though?" Andrea added, looking worried.

"We'd be dead, so yeah. I'm sure." Alex returned, raising one of her eyebrows at her.

"Think we should try to go take a look?

"No. It was probably just some rubble up top. I don't think we should even try to mess with it... Plus, we're hundreds of feet underground. It would take something massive to affect us down here."

Irritated, Andrea gave her an angry scowl and tossed the papers to the table before she disappeared into the bathroom, finally leaving Alex to herself. Like she'd done so many times before, Alex grabbed the same box of tools and turned for the heavy steel door and pulled hard on the metal wheel lock, the hinges of the door creaking before she disappeared down the dark hall and went about the same work routine that she was sure she could do in her sleep by now. But just after she'd finished changing out the vent covers to the air ducts, Alex paused to check her watch before she heard a faint sound she hadn't heard on any of her work cycles before. 

The sound was soft and would likely have been hardly audible and easily missed if someone wasn't listening for it, the quiet booms coming at an irregular interval that gave Alex the idea that it wasn't just a sound being made by the ventilation system - this was a sound being deliberately made at the hands of someone else. She froze to listen as carefully as she could and leaned against the wall with her ear nearly pressed against it, the sounds becoming more distinct before she bolted back into the control room and frantically searched for the facility map she'd only had to reference to once before. 

Andrea's footsteps came from the stairwell in the corner and she stopped at the bottom of them as she watched Alex nearly tear through the drawers and cabinets for the map before she tossed it to the floor and opened it as quickly as she could. Carefully looking over the blueprints of the facility, Alex ignored her surroundings as Andrea came up to her left and leaned down over her and watched, a confused expression painted on her face before she finally spoke. 

"What the hell are you doing? What's goin-"

"I heard something." 

"You heard something?"

"That's what I said, wasn't it?" 

"You know Alex, you can be a real bitch." Andrea spat, stepping away from where Alex sat on the floor, moving her finger along the thin blue lines on the paper. 

"Sorry, I'm just... trying to concentrate."

"No, you're just a bitch."

"You know, you aren't exactly a ray of fucking sunshine to work with either." Alex snapped, shooting her a fierce look of disgust.

"What did you hear?" Andrea asked after she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

"A bunch of booms, they weren't loud, but they definitely weren't the ventilation. I checked that. This was someone MAKING them."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm about ninety percent sure, they were random. Like someone was doing it on purpose."

"You don't think... you don't think someone's trying to get in, do you?" 

"No... no that can't be it. You saw the report this morning, air quality is still in the red. This is coming from inside the facility. Maybe above us... Maybe the team up from us is trying to get our attention." Alex explained, shaking her head and bringing her long, light brown hair back into a ponytail.

Andrea stepped back and looked around at the walls and ceiling of the plain steel lined cement walls, trying to listen for a sound that Whitley doubted she'd be able to hear from here. She stood up and haphazardly folded the map and tucked it into the tied sleeves of her coveralls and turned back toward the hallway. 

"What are you going to do?" Andrea finally asked, following behind her to stand in the doorway when Alex walked back toward where she'd heard the sounds. 

"Going into long term to see if I can hear anything else. If I do, I'll look into it."

"We weren't trained for this, Alex. And I've got a bad feeling about it... we need to stick to our pod and get back to sleep. There's little over an hour left and I'm not done running diagnostics yet."

"I didn't ask you to come with me, so if you don't want to you don't have to. What if someone's hurt?"

"And what if YOU get hurt? I can't do this by myself. This place gives me the creeps enough as it is, and that's with you around."

"Relax, if I don't see anything, I'll come back."

"Just what do you think you're going to do in case you do find something? What the hell do you think YOU can do that one of the others can't?"

"I can at least TRY to help, Andrea. You don't have to like what I'm going to do. You just have to get over it... And weren't YOU the one that wanted to go up and take a look at the outer foundation?"

"Yeah, well this is different."

"How? At least down here we know the air won't kill us." Alex returned, waiting for Andrea to respond and not surprised when she didn't. "You can either come with me or you can stay here. I don't care what you do, I'm still doing this."

Andrea crossed her arms and stayed still, giving Alex an answer she wasn't surprised to get. She knew Andrea wouldn't go. As often as their attitudes had clashed from the very beginning of what could have been the apocalypse, Andrea had never really stuck to her guns. She had never shown any kind of bravery that ventured past checking on the people they were hired to protect. 

Floor after floor of the upper echelons of the world they used to know slept above and beneath them, never moving or waking, all of them dressed in plain white shirts and shorts and dreaming endless dreams. They'd all been fortunate enough to be considered important and necessary after decades of chemical warfare had killed the environment and turned the atmosphere into toxic waste, leaving all other forms of life to their slow, agonizing deaths when the world became uninhabitable. Alex could remember the days early on when she was young, when the leaders of the world had first started their assaults on world, everything had seemed so full of promise, that one day it would all get better. Or there was at least the possibility of something good. That someone, or something could turn it around. But not anymore. Now, the earth and almost everyone on it was dead. Buildings were destroyed and empty, in ruins and rubble as they lay as carcasses and reminders of a world that had destroyed itself. 

It hadn't taken long for Alex to decide to apply for the job. Just the promise of a chance at a life was all she needed to have the courage to put her application in, saying a silent prayer that there would be a life she could live someday that might be worth the massive price of her sacrifice. That there would be a world left to live it in. And now, here she was, four years in to what the CBL Organization had called "The Revival Project" and there wasn't much to show for it. The air quality outside hadn't changed on any check she or Andrea had made on their six month cycles and the chemical make up tests had yet to show any sign or hope of improvement. But nevertheless, every six months, she'd wake up to the same annoying yet semi-capable woman who she'd been paired with and went about completing their list of duties, only to end up right back under the veil of chemical unconsciousness to do it all over again. 

Alex looked ahead and turned on her flashlight as she approached the strong metal door that led to long term storage, hearing the same distant booms she'd heard just minutes before, a part of her nervous to see what or who could be causing it. Carefully, she took hold of the bars of the locking mechanism and turned it, surprised at her own strength when it opened. A rush of stagnant air burst from the dark black void and Alex brought her hand up to cover her nose and mouth, startled when she heard a footstep right behind her. 

"Jesus! I thought you stayed." She complained when Andrea suddenly appeared just behind her shoulder. 

"You had a point. I figured two of us is better than one... but if this is anything to do with those seismograph results, I'm gonna slap the shit out of you." Andrea said, her voice flat and annoyed. 

"It's not. We're too far down to hear anything up top. This is internal." Alex noted, stepping past the metal door frame and into the dark. She clicked on her flashlight and the two of them moved forward, moving the light beam along the various pipes and ductwork until the booming stopped, leaving them in a painful silence. 

"You're sure that wasn't just the ventilation system? It's always been loud." Andrea asked after a long moment. 

"Something isn't right..." Alex said slowly as she held her hand up toward Andrea when the pressure of the room around them changed.

"Wha-"

"Shh!" Alex hissed, listening closely as the sound of something crumbling started from someplace far past the concrete surrounding them. "We need to get out of here." She said as her eyes grew wide. "We need to-"

Before she could finish her sentence, a loud crash shook the ceiling above them and dust went flying. Pieces of concrete fell from the gaping crack snaking it's way across the ceiling and Alex watched in horror as the world around her started to move in slow motion. A heavy steel pipe crashed down through the ceiling and pinned Andrea to the ground and crushed her, deep red blood immediately spilling onto the ground in a growing puddle. 

"A- Alex!" Andrea cried out, her voice caught in a wet, blood soaked cough. She extended her arm toward her, the life in her eyes already starting to drain. 

"Oh my god." Alex gasped, hardly making sound from where she laid on the ground, her skin broken and bleeding from the jagged rocks that had fallen on top of her. "Andrea..." She whispered, struggling to pull herself from underneath the rubble. She finally got herself free and crawled up toward where Andrea lay in a pool of her own blood, surrounded by the heavy broken concrete that had crushed her, unsure of what to do or what to say. 

"I can't... I c-" Andrea muttered under her shallow breaths. "Save them." 

"I'm s- I'm sorry." She whispered, keeping her eyes glued to the dull brown of Andrea's as their vibrancy quickly faded. "I'm so sorry." 

***

Silence. 

Still, aching, putrid silence. The metallic smell of blood permeated the air as Alex sat in silence in the company of the corpse of the woman she was supposed to be working with. 

"I'm sorry." Alex said softly, looking over at the paleness of Andrea's body. "I shouldn't have asked you to do this... But I shouldn't even be here. God knows I don't deserve to be... what kind of person deserves to be alive after they abandon their family? Leaves them to die the way I did?" She asked out loud, the silence around her loud and full of empty static that made her skin crawl. "I had a husband... three kids... Gracie, Aubrey and Ava... we were happy most of the time. Making it. Trying to, anyway. And I left them... Lied on my application... Lied to my husband, dropped the girls off at my mom's house and reported here... I let them die without me- to save myself." Tears fell in steady streams down Alex's cheeks and her body trembled at the weight of her guilt, ashamed of the person she had become when the world had turned on humanity. "I'm so sorry." She managed to say just under her breath, bringing her knees up to tuck into her chest and wrapping her arms around herself. "I'm sorry Andrea... I'm sorry to my husband... most of all, to my babies..." Alex cried, struggling to keep herself together. "I'm sorry."

She could still see the beautiful smiles on each of her children's faces, longing for their company long gone. The way their little hands played in her hair, the sound of their joyful laughter ringing through the halls of the house, the feel of their arms hugging her tight before bed. Being a mother had come so easily, it was hard to imagine what her life would have been like if she'd never had the chance to be one. It had never mattered that none of them had been planned - each one of them had made her feel more complete in ways she never could have imagined. From Gracie's quiet, observant nature to Aubrey's rambunctious curiosity and Ava's exquisite sense of humor, there never seemed to be a dull moment between the three of them. 

And then there was Jackson... the love of her life who she just couldn't stop herself from dreaming about. The one who she'd known nearly all of her life and loved almost as long. As much as she tried to control how much she thought about him and the life he'd given her, she always seemed to fail. She could still remember the heat of his skin pressed against hers. And the way he always gripped her tight when their attention wasn't being stolen by one of the girls. He always knew how to make her laugh, especially after a long day or when he knew she was frustrated, he always had a way of knowing how to turn her mood right around. She knew their marriage wasn't perfect. It was impossible to think otherwise. But despite the late night arguments and the irritating things he would say that he knew would get under her skin, she couldn't help but love him. Deeply and completely and in ways that he could probably never understand. 

But now, they were gone. There was nothing Alex could have done to stop it, but they were gone and she'd left them to feel alone and abandoned. As a mother, it was her job to protect those precious little girls. To make them feel safe. And she hadn't. 

Instead, she'd left them at her mother's while Jackson had been on the off-shore rig for work and never gone back. The government had broadcast the last desperate warnings of the imminent dangers of the toxic air outside and Alex checked in for training, forcing herself to act like she wasn't heartbroken. But she never really escaped the guilt or the ache in her heart, all of it quietly eating away at her with every moment she spent without the family who she now realized she never really deserved. 

Struggling to take in a deep breath past her hard, silent cries, Alex finally forced herself to her feet and picked up the flashlight still clutched in Andrea's hand. The heavy metal door closed with a loud clank and she turned to cross the hallway toward the opposite side of the monitor center, making a straight line for the stairs to check on the people sleeping above. She carefully checked each person's diagnostic tablet and stopped at the stairwell, listening carefully to the stillness that surrounded her. The quiet hum of the machines keeping the facility running surrounded her and dissipated into a quiet, white noise as she looked around at the lives she was responsible for, wondering if any of this was worth the sacrifice she'd made to be here. It was a simple answer that took hardly a second to recognize, the longing for the company of her family proof that nothing would ever be better than what she'd taken for granted without even knowing. A single tear fell down her cheek and Alex quickly swiped it away before she continued down the stairs and into the medical supply room to tend to the cuts and bruises on her legs. 

But before she could even start, the faint sound of pops came from above the ceiling and Alex stood absolutely still, her eyes laser focused on the vent cover directly above her. 

"What the fuck...?" She whispered to herself, her heart picking up a beat. She listened even closer and could hear the distance sound of shouts and voices start before she took off up the stairs, checking for the facility map tucked into the pocket of her coveralls. Her pulse boomed in her ears as she quickly unfolded the blueprints and hastily inspected them, looking for any clue as to how to reach the facility above. "Of the four years here, not a single sound and now all of a sudden..." She said to herself, shaking her head and tossing the map to the side when it gave away nothing. She grabbed one of the medical tools from the cart next to the door just as a precaution and ran up to the door that had been locked for years, hoping with everything she had that it would take her to wherever the sound of voices was coming from. 

She entered the six-digit code she'd been given to access the computer systems and the door surprisingly unlocked, opening up to a massive cavernous silo that extended high above her. "Holy shit." Alex said in a quiet gasp, listening to the haunting reverberation of her voice as she looked down into the deep shadows below and up at the countless floors above. There had to be thirty floors below where she stood on the metal walkway and at least double that above her before she finally took a step forward, watching each careful step and hugging the wall as the anxiety of her fear of heights took her breath away and made her heart race. Steps up to the next level took her up to the next landing where another heavy metal door stood between her and the people who had sounded like they were fighting and Alex wondered how she would ever get their attention, knowing the doors were made to be nearly sound proof and that her same code wouldn't allow her to enter. Out of breath and having trouble fighting the nerves rumbling uneasily in her stomach, Alex carefully inspected the solid metal walls around her, looking for anything that might get her inside. 

A sturdy metal air vent cover was nestled just a few feet above the door and Alex kept her eyes glued to it, saying a silent prayer that she could get it open and get inside. The voices started up again and her heart skipped another beat before she carefully climbed up on the railing and inspected the vent cover. It was screwed tight to the wall and she bit hard at the inside of her cheek, hanging on to the metal ductwork that surrounded the door before she checked her pockets, finding the same screwdriver she'd used earlier for the air filters and feeling a beat of adrenaline when she reached up to unscrew the cover and climb inside. 

The vents were hot and smooth against her skin as she moved through them slowly, making sure to be as quiet and careful as possible until she finally reached an opening. She looked through the narrow slats down into the room below and saw the same kind of control center from her own facility, the same voices she'd heard before coming from above her. As quickly as she could, Alex twisted the screws from their places and carefully lowered herself out of the ceiling vent, a sharp yelp escaping from her when she landed. The ache in her bones was harsh and deep from the heavy pieces of concrete that had fallen on her and she wished she'd thought to take something for it until the sound of footsteps grew closer, stopping at the top of the stairs and rustling with something. 

As silently as possible, she moved up the stairs just enough to see over the ledge of the floor above, watching as the stranger drew up a syringe of one of the medications. He turned toward her and Alex quickly ducked down out of his sight, listening to him step back toward what had to be the room of sleepers. She followed quietly behind him and listened as he and another man spoke, their tones angry and short with one another as she moved even closer. But the atmosphere of the room changed when their voices grew silent and Alex stepped forward, her eyes growing wide in horror as the man she'd seen filling a syringe held it high over his partner's head, creeping behind the other and poised to plunge it into his neck. Without thinking, Alex silently grabbed an empty oxygen tank and pulled it over her head and brought it down hard to crack into the skull of the tall, muscular man who had tried to kill his partner. His body crumpled to the floor in a heavy heap and she watched as a pool of blood started to grow around him, panic starting to sear through her veins at the realization she'd just done the same thing he had been trying to do himself. 

The man's partner stood off to the side after he'd turned around and watched her carefully, not saying a single word before Alex turned to look at him herself. 

That's when her stomach bottomed out and her heart nearly stopped. 

"Jackson?"

*****

"Oh my god." Alex managed to say, nearly breathless. 

"Holy shit." Jackson said, the sound of his voice matching hers when he took a step toward her. 

"What are- I thought-" She stammered, stepping over the crumpled body as tears built on her eyelashes. "I thought you were-"

"I was." He returned simply, never looking away from her. "CBL owned the rig."

Alex could hardly form a single thought. Her brain was lost and swimming as she struggled to comprehend that Jackson was here. That he was alive and standing so close to her. She could feel her strength slip away from her, like it was dissolving in her hands and falling into a puddle on the floor at her feet when he took another step toward her. Her chin started to quiver and her hands started to shake when she carefully reached forward, her skin immediately reacting when she touched him. Hardly a second passed and she fell into his arms, every piece of her broken and weak when Jackson brought his arms around her and tucked his face into the curve of her neck. Tears fell in thick droplets down Alex's cheeks for what could have been a lifetime as every ounce of guilt and regret came boiling out of it's place before Jackson carefully backed away from her. 

"You work here?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion. Alex nodded her head in shame and looked away from him. "What about the girls?" He added, watching her carefully. 

"They were with my mom... I couldn't- I couldn't bare to see them go through that." She cried, realizing that while it was true, it was still no reason to leave them. "I was too scared to see it... I was too scared to die like that..."

"So we both lied." Jackson said carefully, the rims of his eyes red and glazed over with tears. "They told me we couldn't have families... I told 'em I didn't."

Alex nodded as another wave of guilt nearly brought her to her knees. 

"How'd you get in here?" He asked, wiping his eyes and looking down at the lifeless body of his partner at his feet. 

"Through the vents, I heard booms and shouts from below and I had to make sure whoever was here was okay."

"You're not by yourself, are you?"

"I wasn't... I am now though. The seismograph showed an earthquake hit and it must have crumbed the foundation enough that the ceiling caved in our long term. Killed my partner when we went to go check out what I'd heard."

"Holy shit..." Jackson said, shaking his head and pulling her close to hug her. "Cartwright's pod set fire and we're down to one pod. Are yours alright?"

"Both of ours are fine. You can come down to our facility if you need to."

Jackson nodded and held her even closer before he took a step back and took her hand in his. "How long you got down there?"

"Forty five, maybe fifty minutes. What about up here?"

"Less than five by now, I'm sure." 

Alex looked up him with a soft sadness in her eyes, thankful to have him here but feeling the fresh wounds of her loss all over again. "Well, come on then." She finally said, pulling him closer. 

"Gotta do somethin' with him first though."

"Like what?"

"Beats me. But he's gonna stink it up during the sleep cycle if I don't do somethin'." 

Alex nodded her agreement and looked around where they stood, wondering if there was anything they could do. "We could put him with my partner in long term... I doubt anyone would question what happened if it ever comes to that." She suggested, hating herself even more for disregarding the dignity the man she'd killed probably deserved. Jackson nodded and locked his gaze with hers, leaning in to kiss her cheek before he took a step back and heaved the body of his partner on his shoulders. The deep grunt that came from him made Alex's body immediately react to him, throwing a wave of heat across her skin before he turned around and pointed her in the direction of the stairs. 

She led him to the door that would take them out to the large open silo and Jackson followed close behind her, holding his hand firmly on the railing as they descended the stairs to the facility they would now be running together. Alex sealed the lock behind them and he followed her back to the pile of rubble in the long term storage space, the smell of blood and death slapping the both of them in the face. Jackson dropped the weight of his partner to the floor and the two of them left them there to decay in the silent darkness, a heaviness weighing on both of their shoulders before the door was sealed and locked behind them and they returned to the control room. They both took their seats at the small table in the center of the room and sat for a long, still moment, both of them exhausted in more ways than they could count before Alex shifted in her seat and looked up at the beautiful man she'd married. 

"I don't want you to think I abandoned you or the girls." Jackson said softly, looking at his hands in his lap before turning to look up at her. "I just didn't... I don't know. I didn't wanna die like that... I'd rather be here and remember 'em than be dead and not be able to."

Alex looked up at him and could feel herself choke on the hard knot forming in her throat.

"I didn't wanna miss them... I didn't wanna miss you... but I didn't wanna die either. I was selfish... and I feel like shit for leavin' you like I did." He added with hardly any sound.

"I'm not angry." Alex said quietly, hating the look of heartbreak set in the blue of his eyes. His hair had grown longer and had darkened over the four years in the facility but he still looked just the same. His shoulders were still broad and pronounced, his arms still strong and lean underneath the sleeves of his work shirt. The beauty mark in the crease of his cheek was just as adorable. He was just as handsome as he had always been. "We would all be dead if we hadn't done what we had. Maybe it's better this way." She offered, slowly getting back to her feet and stepping up to him. "At least not all of the Bauer's are gone."

"I miss the hell out of them." Jackson whispered when she leaned her hip against the table just next to him. He brought his hand up to hold on Alex's hip and she took a step closer, combing her fingers through his soft, dark hair when he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to her stomach. "And I missed the hell out of you." He cried, his shoulders shaking underneath her fingertips. 

Alex moved to sit on his lap and wrapped her arms around him, holding on her hands at the back of his head and kissing behind his ear. Tears slipped down her cheeks before she finally broke away from him just enough to hold her forehead on his and she brought one of her hands up to hold on his cheek, her voice leaving her in a near silent whisper when she finally spoke. "I'm so sorry." 

Jackson held her even tighter and Alex could feel the tension in his shoulders build along with the waves of guilt and grief crashing over him, four years of missing their family weighing heavily on their hearts as they struggled to come to terms with everything they'd lost. 

"There was no way either of us could have saved them." She continued, her chest flushed bright red and her eyes swimming in tears she couldn't control. "I guess if there's at least a modicum of a positive outcome, at least our entire family isn't gone... at least we have someone." She added woefully. Jackson looked up at her and Alex swiped away the tear that had fallen, wishing she could change what had happened. That she could turn back the clock and go back to when times were better. 

"How'd you get on board? You use your maiden name?" 

"I figured that was smartest. But I didn't like changing it." She answered gently, bringing her hand to hold on his chest. 

"Alex Bauer does sound better, doesn't it?"

"I think it does." A small smile tugged at the corner of Alex's lips and she leaned in close again, holding her forehead gently against his. "I love you, honey. I can't tell you how much I missed you." She added, her voice soft just before their lips met one another's. 

"How long do we have?" Jackson asked into their kiss, his hands starting to move up along either side of her body. 

Alex broke from him and looked up at the old black and white countdown clock to see the bold numbers display '48' and she returned to him with a sly smile, leaning into him and bringing her arms up to hold around his neck. "Long enough." She breathed just before Jackson's lips engulfed hers. 

A rough groan rumbled deep in his throat and Alex could feel him grow hard beneath her, the nerves in her stomach fluttering just like they always did with him. She moved her hands smoothly down his chest and between their bodies to pull at his belt buckle, listening to the hard clink of metal on concrete when he held her tight and picked her up. Jackson got to his feet and carried her over to the old couch along the side of the wall and laid her down beneath him, never letting his lips leave Alex's as the need between them became thick and heavy. 

"It's been too long." Alex said into his kiss, breathless and completely taken at the feel of Jackson's lips moving down along her neck. "Please baby, I need you so bad." 

Jackson broke away from her and brought himself up to press his lips to hers again, holding one of his hands along her cheek and the other slipping into her loose grey V-neck t-shirt. "I love you, Alex." He returned, helping her out of her shirt. "I love you so fucking much."

"Make love to me, then." She said smoothly, biting her lower lip and bringing her hands down to slide her hands up along his ribs. 

"You don't gotta ask me twice." He said with a wicked smile, straightening up above her and pulling his shirt off. 

"God I missed you." Alex laughed softly, watching as Jackson untied the sleeves of her coveralls wrapped around her hips and pulled them off of her. They were left in a heap on the floor and he immediately returned to her, planting his hands on either side of her shoulders and dipping his head down to kiss her again, this time with more urgency. The heat of their need for each other radiated between them and Alex quickly wrapped her arms back around him, in love with the feel of him pressing his body against hers. She could feel his readiness for her against her hip and she slid one of her hands down along the side of his body, moving her hand along him from the outside of his briefs. 

"Think you're ready for me?" Jackson asked seductively, binging one of his hands down to hold at the curve behind Alex's knee. 

"Take your time, babe, it's been four years." Alex laughed, shaking her head and opening her legs for him to help her out of her underwear. 

"Did you forget how big your husband's dick was?" He growled. He moved his hand down between them and found the hot, soaking lips of her pussy and teased her entrance, pushing his finger in as deep as he could and taking Alex's breath away. 

"Mm, how could I forget?" She said smoothly as she moved her hands down to hold on his chest. "Come on, honey, show me how much you missed me." 

Jackson gave her a wicked smile and adjusted himself on top of her so that he could bring his thick tip to tease her, pressing into her clit and nearly taking her breath away when he finally gave her what her body had been yearning for for so long. Their voices left them in heavy, lust filled moans as he filled every inch of her and slowly started to rock his hips inside of her. Alex moved one of her hands up to hold along his neck, nearly trembling underneath him. 

"Damn, babe..." Jackson breathed, leaning in closer and kissing along Alex's cheek. Alex brought her legs to wrap around his hips and held her other hand along his ribs, the electricity of his skin against hers like a drug she'd long missed. 

"Nice an' tight for you, huh?" She whispered in his ear, biting playfully at his earlobe when he started to move faster inside of her. Jackson responded with a hungry moan and lifted his head to press his lips heavily to Alex's, his kiss urgent and desperate for the taste of her when he slipped his tongue between her lips. 

Alex held tight to Jackson the faster her moved inside of her and could hardly control the volume of her voice, listening to him as he pumped hard and fast. Their skin buzzed as the waves of their need for each other grew more overwhelming with each move he made before Jackson straightened up on top of her. Another rough growl escaped from him and he watched the look of ecstasy on her face, reaching for her legs and bringing them in front of him so that he could push them toward her chest. Alex moaned smoothly as Jackson moved his hands to hold at the backs of her thighs, his hips pounding into hers just the way he used to. 

"Oh my g- Jackson!" She whimpered, bringing one of her hands between her legs and pressing her fingers into her clit. 

"Yeah, you tease that fuckin' clit, babe." Jackson groaned, thrusting his hips even harder inside of her as the slick juices of her orgasm coated him. "Make yourself cum for me." 

"Mm, god, I don't even have to try, baby." Alex breathed, bringing her free hand up to pull on one of her nipples standing at fierce attention. 

"My big ol' dick doin' a good job for you, then, huh?" 

"God yes!" 

Jackson quickly pulled out of her and bent over to run his tongue between the soaking lips of her pussy, a smooth growl coming from deep in his belly at the taste of her. Alex opened her legs wide for him and combed her fingers through his hair, her chest flushed bright and hot at the sight of him teasing her clit. He looked up at her and their eyes locked when he struck a tender nerve, making her body quiver and waves of goose bumps wash over her. 

"Holy shit, baby, I wanna ride you." She said lightly, struggling to catch her breath when he suddenly pulled away from her. 

"Mm, get on up here, girl." Jackson husked, giving the outside of her thigh a few playful slaps. He fell into the deep cushions of the couch and relaxed back, biting hard at his bottom lip as he watched her slowly step toward him. His eyes were dark and laser focused on every curve of her body, drunk with need at the sight of her as she swept her long, light brown hair over shoulders. "Oh my god, Alex."

"What?" She asked with a sly grin, standing just in front of him and taking his hand in hers when he reached for her. 

"You are just what I needed." He answered with the same adorable smile she'd fallen for so many years before. 

"Did you think about me?" 

"Fuck yes, I did." Jackson breathed, holding his free hand wrapped around his cock when Alex moved toward him to straddle his lap. 

"Did you do anything else when you thought about me?" Alex asked quietly, her breath escaping from her in a slow exhale as she buried him deep inside of her. 

"What do you think I did?"

Alex leaned in close and brought her arms around his neck and kissed behind his ear, running her tongue along the ridge of it before she whispered in his ear. "I sure hope you took good care of yourself. This amazing cock of yours deserves it."

"Every fucking time." He moaned, kissing the curve of her neck just before Alex started to move on top of him. 

"Mm, good." She returned smoothly as Jackson brought one of his hands up to hold her breast. He squeezed and tugged on her nipple and the two of them quickly lost themselves, holding tight to each other like they could lose the other once again at a moment's notice. 

"God, I love you, Alex." Jackson said smoothly when Alex swept his hair out of his face and looked at him. "Can't tell you that enough."

"I love you too, honey." Alex breathed, holding her forehead to his. "I missed you so fucking much."

Jackson nodded against her and moved his hands down to hold along her ribs, sending wave after wave of goose bumps across her skin as she moved up and down in his lap. Their lips came together once again and their breaths quickened as their orgasms built inside of them, the heaviness of their need for each other choking their voices from them. Jackson moved one of his hands up to tease her nipple between his fingers and started to move his hips beneath her, moving them in unison with hers and hitting her G-spot as a sheen of sweat started to build on his forehead. 

"Ah, damn, Alex, you can still take me like a fuckin' champ, huh?" He moaned into her kiss, his voice deep and gritty just the way she loved. 

"Mm, I've always loved how big you are." Alex said smoothly just before Jackson moved to lay down on his back and rest his head on a lumpy throw pillow. His hands held tight to Alex's hips and he brought his knees up behind her, the sound of his rough voice in her ear making her even hotter and wetter for him. Her slick juices nearly gushed out of her and coated their thighs the deeper Jackson thrust inside of her, the sound of her soft whimpers escaping from her lips while he kissed his way up along her neck. 

"Look at that fucking cum, babe, Jesus Christ." Jackson crooned, looking between their bodies and bringing one of his hands down to press his fingers into her clit.

The sharp, delicious claws of Alex's release gripped her tight as she teetered on the edge of ecstasy, her body trembling on top of Jackson's as he fucked her hard and deep. He moved his fingers in tight, controlled circles around her clit and she quickly fell into his arms, gasping for her breath and moaning hard into his ear with every incredible thrust he made. 

"Oh my god..." She said breathlessly, her eyes closed and her hands grabbing for any part of him that she could hold. 

"Fuck, get up." He hissed, slapping her ass and pulling out of her. "Turn around and get on your knees for me." 

Alex gave in to a smooth laugh and slowly turned around in front of him, tossing her hair over her shoulder and looking back at him as she leaned down into the couch and watched him take the sight of her in. He bit at his lower lip and moved closer to her, his hands grabbing for both sides of her hips and pulling her into his own. Alex reached underneath herself and between her legs to wrap her hand around his cock and slowly stroked him, bringing his thick tip to tease the lips of her soaking pussy and press into her clit. Jackson groaned heavily and moved one hand smoothly across the small of her back, the other giving her ass another hard slap just the way she liked. 

"Fuck yes, baby, hit me again." Alex begged as she looked back at him and tightened her grip around his cock. 

"Still into that, huh?" Jackson asked, his eyes dark and devious when they met hers. 

"God ye- yes!" She moaned, her words broken when his hand came down hard again. 

A rough grunt came from deep in Jackson's throat and he squeezed hard on both sides of her ass, moving his hips into hers just before Alex slightly pulled away from him. She brought the tip of his cock to her entrance and backed into him, moving forward again to pull him out and back in again, earning a rumbled laugh from him before he pulled her hard into him. His tip struck her G-spot hard and Alex's voice left her in a quiet gasp, her breath stolen from her lungs as he started to pump hard behind her. Jackson brought his leg up and planted his foot firmly on the cushions next to her to anchor himself, the sound of their bodies' contact loud and hot as he quickened his rhythm. Alex squeezed her eyes shut and tightened herself around him, grabbing one of her breasts and tugging hard on her nipple the closer Jackson brought her to her release. Waves of unforgiving bliss swept over her and her juices leaked out of her and dripped down the insides of her thighs before Jackson slapped her ass again and leaned forward, pressing his chest to her back and bringing his arm around her waist. 

"You're awfully quiet." He growled in her ear, bringing his other hand up to her breast and teasing her nipple between his fingers. 

"Mm, you're just too good at fucking me, babe." Alex said smoothly, tightening herself around him again. 

"Jesus, I missed you." Jackson returned just before he straightened back up behind her and gave her ass another hard slap and pulled out of her. 

Alex slowly pulled herself up and turned to face him, in love with the feel of his hand taking her by the waist and pulling her into his body. He leaned back to lay down on his side and brought Alex along with him, holding her close and sliding his cock back inside of her. She brought her leg up over his hip and wrapped her arms around his neck just as their lips found one another's and their bodies started to move in perfect unison together. Jackson held one of his hands on her hip and pressed his fingertips into her skin, soaking in the feel of her body against his after far too long. Beads of sweat built on their skin as they moved and their voices rang together in a smooth symphony they couldn't get enough of, their orgasms building with every delicious thrust Jackson made inside of her. 

"You're gonna cum, huh?" Alex asked softly, holding her hand on his cheek when his body started to flex and tense in front of her. 

"Fuck yeah, babe, where do you want it?" He answered with hardly any sound to his words. 

"We can't risk me gettin' me knocked up, where do you think?" She teased, planting her lips to his and biting gently on his lower lip. 

"You better mean I can fuck your ass." 

Alex gave him a smooth laugh and smiled into his kiss before lifting her leg even more, her breath caught in her lungs when Jackson quickly pulled out of her and slid his fingers inside of her pussy to soak them with her hot, slick juices. He pulled them from inside her and slid them back to her tight, puckered entrance to ease them inside of her, taking his time to stretch her around him. 

"Come on honey, fill me up." Alex begged. She brushed his hair out of his face and a wicked groan came from deep in Jackson's throat before he quickly brought the tip of his cock to her tight entrance and slowly eased himself inside of her. Alex took a shaky breath in at the feel of his thick cock filling her, holding tight to his arm and kissing him even harder when he started to move his hips into a slow, easy rhythm. 

"Holy fuckin' shit..." Jackson hissed, sliding one of his hands down to hold on her ass before bringing it underneath her leg to lift it above them. 

"Cum for me, Jackson... please cum for me." Alex breathed, holding tight to him. 

"Any fucking second, babe." He returned, picking up his pace and pumping even deeper inside of her. 

"Oh my god-" Alex choked with a rough, harsh breath.

"You ready for it?" 

"God yes, baby- please!" 

A deep, harsh grunt came from Jackson's throat and he worked his hips hard and fast, taking Alex's breath away until he finally slammed them into her with one last hard, satisfying thrust, burying himself deep inside of her. Out of breath, Alex slowly brought her arms around him and kissed him hard and deep, her tongue finding it's way between his lips while his hands ventured along her skin. 

She had missed this more than she'd realized. The sound of his voice, the taste of his kiss, the feel of his arms holding her tight, the ecstasy he could always bring her. Her heart ached that she had ever had to live without him. That no matter what they could have done, their children couldn't be here. That their precious lives had been cut short because of the selfishness and destruction of war far beyond any of their control. Nothing could have ever prepared her for the kind of sacrifice she'd made or the broken heart that came with it, but having the man who had given her the life and family she missed at least made the sting of it easier.

"I love you, Alex." Jackson said softly after a long, easy silence. "I wasn't a good husband to you... and I wasn't the best dad either... I never quite understood how good you were to me. Or how much I really loved you and the girls. And I took all of that for granted for way too long... 'Til I didn't have a choice but to lose you... 'Til you and them were gone and there was nothing I could do to change it... None of that came full circle 'till I was stuck here in this piece of shit place."

Alex swallowed hard at the knot lodged in her throat and pulled him tight against her, her arms wrapped around his neck as tears slowly fell down her cheeks. How it could have been this long and he knew exactly what she needed to hear was beyond her understanding and her heart soared hearing him come to terms with some of his faults. But even as she heard him accept his shortcomings, Alex couldn't help but forgive him. In the remnants of what was left of the world they missed, it wasn't worth it to hold his misgivings against him or over his head. She loved him too deeply for that anyway. Neither of them had ever been perfect and she knew that. It had never been a secret and she'd never deluded herself into thinking otherwise. But everything was different now and there wasn't a point in dwelling on things they couldn't change. As hard it was, they had to look forward. 

Jackson carefully pulled out of her and Alex helped him tuck himself back into his briefs, never looking away from him. "We both made mistakes, Jackson. I wasn't faultless, either... I know we both got on each other's nerves, we both said things we shouldn't." She said quietly, holding her hand on his chest. "But isn't that every husband and wife? Don't they all have things they wish they could do differently?" Her words hung in the air and Alex slowly brought her other hand up to hold Jackson's cheek. "You weren't a bad husband... at least I never thought you were. You pissed me off sometimes. And I'm sure I did the same to you... But I wouldn't change it, honey. I wouldn't... There were arguments and stupid shit we did, yes. But I was happy. The girls were happy... And I loved you more than you can ever know. I still do. I always will." 

Alex pulled herself up and got back to her feet while Jackson sat up and pulled her to stand between his legs, holding his hands on the outsides of her thighs and leaning forward to kiss her bare stomach. She smoothed her hands through his hair and held either side of his face when he held his forehead to her stomach, the sight of him in their small tender moment taking her back to the night they'd found out they would be parents for the first time. The way he held her, the way he kissed her, the softness to his very being that made her heart melt. It was a moment that had changed everything for them and Alex had never forgotten it. Much like she would never forget this one. 

"What happened earlier?" Alex asked softly after she looked up at the countdown clock, thankful to see she could still touch him for another ten minutes. "Why was he trying to kill you?"

"Cartwright lost his damn mind, that's what." Jackson answered, shaking his head more to himself than to her and standing back up with her. 

"You said his pod caught fire or something?" 

"Don't ask me how, but it did. Ruined the plastic cover that opens, so we went and found one in long term and swapped it. Motherfucker was a pussy, so I tested it and heard a leak in the air hose back inside the machine. So he goes and tries to look for it - or least that's what I thought - and he just fuckin' disappeared. So I'm shoutin' his name and all of a sudden, the machine messed up, all the air gets sucked out and basically vacuum sealed me inside. Damn near killed me. Suffocated me and knocked me out. So he finally showed back up and cut it open with a box knife he said he couldn't find... Lyin' ass motherfucker." Jackson explained, the tone in his voice angry and hurt and killing a part of her as she listened. Alex took a step closer and wrapped her arms around him, waiting patiently for him to continue. "So he goes and puts on an air suit and goes and finds another facility all ruined, takes one of theirs and brings it back. But while he was gone, I checked the security tape and that dude TRIED to kill me. Stuck in his head and shit staring at a picture of his wife while I was laying there dying trying to help HIM out... So when I went to go open up a pod for him in the sleeper chamber, he disagreed. He wanted to try and find another solution, but we'd already run outta time once. We didn't have time. So I was gonna kill one of them so both of us could live and keep the place going... You came in right when I was trying to pick someone."

"So he thought it was okay to kill you but not one of them?"

"I guess so, he wouldn't have it." 

"Even if the two of you were responsible for them? I mean... I would have done the same thing you did. It makes sense. As shitty as it is." 

"He was convinced there was another way to do it, but... it's not like we had the time to figure it out. One of us was gonna kick it if we didn't do something drastic." 

Alex watched him as her eyes started to burn, thankful she'd stepped in when she had. If she had hesitated for even a second longer, he wouldn't be standing here with her and she would still be alone. "I never imagined I'd say something like this, but if he'd done what he was about to do, I'd have killed him anyway." She said, shaking her head softly. "Whatever happens after this... whatever world can be rebuilt, I don't want to do it alone... I don't want to do it without you." 

Jackson nodded and leaned in to kiss her, his lips soft and warm against hers and his hands holding along her waist before Alex looked back up at him. A small smile pulled at her lips and the two of them went about dressing down to their sleep clothes, Jackson finding an extra set of them in one of the unused lockers in the corner of the room. Alex waited patiently next to the pod that used to be Andrea's and drew up the same cocktail of medication that would help put the both of them to sleep, watching the man she loved more than anything as he slipped on his shirt. He joined her a moment later and sat down on the soft pad mattress, taking Alex's hand and looking up at her. "We can restart." He offered quietly, the tenderness in his words and the softness of his voice striking a tender cord in her heart. "Whatever mistakes we made before, we can leave it... We can restart. I know you said it wasn't so bad... but you deserved better than what I gave you." 

Alex choked back a wave of tears and leaned forward to hug him, turning her head down to kiss the top of his head when he wrapped his arms around her waist and rest his cheek on her chest. "We can restart." She returned with a whisper into his hair. Jackson looked up at her and their lips met once again, their kiss long and delicious and everything the both of them needed.

"I'll go first." He said after he broke from her, shifting himself to sit back and lay down. 

Alex nodded and perched her hip next to his before she leaned in close to kiss him again, holding her hand gently on his cheek. "I love you. I'm so glad you're here." 

"I love you too, babe. I'll see you in six months." 

She smiled and kissed him again before she turned her attention to his arm and carefully tied a tourniquet around him, taking her time inserting the needle of her syringe. Slowly, she pushed his medication into his vein while he held his hand warmly on her thigh, watching as he faded into unconsciousness before looping an oxygen tube around his head. She changed the needle of the IV connected to the nutrient and medication bags and worked quickly to insert it into his arm and tape it in place, leaning back over him to kiss his cheek and getting back to her feet. His pod closed with the push of a button and Alex stepped over to her own, going about the same routine as she inserted her IV and pushed her own medication. The seconds dragged as she slipped into unconsciousness, her dreams drifting to what the future could hold. 

xxx


End file.
